Imagine your office littered with sex toys and a Ken doll in inappropriate positions. For most of us, even on casual Fridays, that simply would not do.
But when your work is a relationship and sex blogger and writer, just like Simone Paget of Skinny Dip, it’s just another day at the office (side note: the Ken doll is “Joe the Intern, who she jokes “has a few unresolved issues.”). Simone says she’s “passionate” about her work. No pun intended.
She spoke to us with sweet candidness, about everything from whom she doesn’t want to read her blog (guess) to why safe sex is a healthy activity. She’s as likeable by both men and women as the one and only Carrie Bradshaw. Or shall we say, the one and only Simone.
Why choose to write about sex?
For a long time people told me I had the craziest dating stories. I dated a lot in my twenties. I have fun talking about it and writing about it. Sex can be funny or heartbreaking or gross or sexy. There are so many different things we can say about human relationships and how we experience them.
Do you like dating in your twenties or your thirties more?
I had fun in my twenties but I think I’m wiser now. I can spot warning signs quicker and I know better who to trust and who not to. I also think that men have grown into their looks more. I feel like an adult, and it’s sexy to be dating other adults! Although occasionally it feels like I’m on the island of the misfit toys in Victoria, [meaning] all the leftover people who aren’t married or settled down. At other times I have a lot of fun – it’s all a matter of perspective.
Did it ever give you pause to be so open about your sex life?
Oh yeah, definitely! I didn’t even post a photo until six months into blogging, even though I was sharing really personal experiences. Now I’m completely open and my freelance career is intermixed with my blog. People think I say a lot but there’s a lot I don’t write about. I’m an open book but not everyone is and my friends and family didn’t sign up for it, so I don’t talk about them unless it’s a neutral experience. I do ask myself sometimes if I’m going too far…
Does your family read the blog or is it a little too risqué?
My mom doesn’t want to read the sexy stuff. My sister knows the blog exists but doesn’t read it. My dad doesn’t know it exists, and that’s fine. My worst nightmare is that my dad would read my blog. It would be so awkward! He’s a cool guy, but still…
Totally understood. What are your blog fans surprised to find out when they meet you?
I find meeting guys who have read the blog have expected me to be something that I’m not. They think that I write about sex that I must have sex with everyone and want to have sex with them. It couldn’t be further from the truth! Just because I write about sex doesn’t mean that I’m into kinky stuff.
Speaking of kinky, did you read 50 Shades of Grey? Is that a job pre-requisite?
I read the first page and then gave up, because it’s terrible! It read like Twilight to me with adult characters. Erotica has been around forever, but the really bad erotica is what made it popular. It’s surprising. I’ve seen it on sale at Loblaws! Even if it isn’t the best book; anything that makes us more open about our sexuality is good in my opinion. As long as no one’s getting hurt.
Why do you think it’s important to be open about our sexuality?
Because it’s part of who we are as humans. For me, being sexually fulfilled is important. It may not be as important for everyone, but there is so much great stuff you can experience. Our bodies are designed to have sex and feel pleasure. A healthy sex life is a part of an overall healthy life, if you choose to embrace that. Scientific evidence supports the fact that safe sex is good for your body. It releases endorphins.
So you can choose running, or you can choose sex. Or both. In the spirit of healthy living.