“First comes love, then comes marriage, then comes the baby in a baby carriage!”
That old schoolyard song is so engrained; you might not even notice its effect on you.
Picture this. You’re dancing with the man you're happily coupled with at your friend’s wedding. The evening is magical and the love palpable.
After the bouquet toss everything changes. The questions start coming and you can’t seem to refill your wine glass fast enough. “When are you two getting married?” “You want kids, right?” “How many?”
It isn’t just the summer heat causing you to sweat. Whether you’re in your late-twenties or past your mid-thirties, your internal thermostat might be giving you baby fever. As the questions about your future start coming, you can’t help but wonder what the best answer might be.
If you’re finding creative ways to dodge these questions, chances are it’s time that you start nursing your fever. You need to start looking at what it is that you want and why you want it.
Deciding to have kids is the biggest commitment that you will ever make in your life. As much as you can rationalize your decision, our biology will always have the last word. Perhaps you weren’t thinking about having kids a few years ago, and then suddenly, like a ticking time bomb, your biological clock woke you up to the idea.
Truth is that past a certain age, having kids becomes more difficult. Fertility is actually a booming industry as more and more couples are starting families later on in life. A friend of mine attempted several in vitro fertilizations without any success. She has accepted that having children of her own is no longer an option. She had to change her life’s vision and make it exciting in a whole new way.
Chances are if you’re feeling the heat, it might be time to ask yourself: when do you feel the timing will be right (if at all)? Not everyone wants to have children, and that is perfectly fine.
Whenever people ask you questions repeatedly and it bothers you, look inside. Listen to your gut. If you’re feeling agitated by a certain topic, an important piece of information from within is trying to communicate with you. Start by observing how you feel. Don’t try to change it, just notice. Ask yourself why this topic gets to you. Listen to what you want.
Whether you move forward and have children or decide to wait is up to you. Happiness comes from choosing to be fully responsible for your life. Once you take responsibility, you can make choices that move you towards the vision you have created for your life.
With or without the baby carriage.
Book a free 30-min consultation with me in order to help you choose wisely and keep your cool during these hot summer months!
Got a question you're itching to ask? Send your questions, even the ones you're afraid of, to firstname.lastname@example.org.