Couples seem to pop out of a Tinder dream when the sun comes out. With all of the hand holding and kissing at sunset, chances are someone is getting freaky under the sheets (with the AC on, of course).
As some couples turn up the heat, others must face the reality that sex simply isn’t always sexy.
Even if a relationship starts off as a passionate love affair, sexual desires change. Just like hitting a plateau with your fitness regimen, you might hit a wall with your sex life. If this is the case, you need to change your routine, step up your game, and challenge yourself.
These four steps will help both you and your partner get back under the covers, or over them with the fan on.
Get outside of your comfort zone(s).
Couples can quickly fall into comfortable routines. Comfort is libido’s worst nightmare. It starts with lululemon pants and ends with watching another movie while over-eating caramel popcorn on a Saturday night.
Have you ever noticed that there is always at least one fear-induced date on The Bachelor?
The couple might jump out of a plane, climb down a skyscraper, or confront their fears together. After completing these daredevil activities they can bond on another level (besides those rose ceremonies). This can translate to your life as well: doing something that seems frightening has a way of increasing sex appeal in a big way.
You don’t have to go swimming with sharks, but you can go skydiving, white water rafting, or hold that snake with your date at the zoo. Better yet, why don’t you and your partner choose one scary date for each other? You can thank me later.
Get sweaty before breaking a sweat.
Sex is the best form of exercise. It has brought you and me to life. No other form of exercise can make that claim. However, if you are feeling like you need to boost your libido or blow off some sexual frustration because your sweetie isn’t “in the mood”, go sweat it out. And take your partner with you.
Take part in an activity that will bring you both closer. Why not learn the choreography to Ed Sheeran’s “Thinking Out Loud” at your local ballroom studio?
If dancing isn’t your thing, go to a circuit class and watch your sweetheart break a sweat doing squats and pounding the heavy rope.
Don’t overdo it though. Save some energy for the bedroom!
Learn another language.
I don’t mean that you need to dust off your Italian for Dummies.
I do mean that you should read Gary Chapman’s “The 5 Love Languages.” Or if you want less reading, more results, take the free quiz on Chapman’s website (to find out how you and your partner like to be loved).
Understanding what you and your partner need is something that can transform your relationship forever. Take the quiz. It will be worth it.
Make it a game or a challenge.
Whether you are the playful or competitive type, why not try a 30-day sex challenge? I love challenges and will admit that I’ve never attempted this, but once I meet my match, I’ll report back.
Coaching clients through 30-day challenges, whether it’s a sugar-free cleanse or meditation challenge, has always led to transformation. Challenges teach you to show up even when you don’t feel like it. What happens when you show up consistently to something that makes you come alive is life changing. You might not want to do that workout, but chances are you’ll feel much better after you’ve done it.
Chances are, if you and your partner love each other, you won’t regret 30 days dedicated to igniting that spark.
If all else fails? Book a session with me and I will set you up with a plan to boost your life and in turn, your sex life.