For anything worth having one must pay the price; and the price is always work, patience, love, self-sacrifice. ~ John Burroughs
Distance doesn’t have to lead to a couple’s demise, but it can be a hurdle. If you’re dedicated to bridging the gap, you’ve got to put in time and effort.
Follow these 7 simple tips to help relieve some of the strain of being in a land far, far away from your sweetheart.
1. Don’t Over Communicate
This may sound strange, but talking on the phone ten times a day will only keep the fact you’re missing them front and centre. It may also prevent you from making your own life interesting, which is essential to keep a relationship breathing. Sometimes distracting yourself for a bit makes a world of difference. Save up the good stories rather than regaling them in real-time, all the time.
2. Plan Dates
They won’t be standard dinner and movie dates, but why not plan a weekly Skype wine night? Think about getting gussied up. If you always greet your love in a pair of sweats, it might not keep things spicy. Skype can be incredibly intimate, as you don’t often stare at someone’s face for an extended period of time. Listen to music together, rehash the week, laugh or make it sexy. You’ll have something to look forward to together every week.
3. Watch the Same Show/Read the Same Book
Reading and watching TV can be incredibly solitary activities when you’re missing your sweetheart. Although you may have to cuddle a pillow in their absence, you can strengthen your bond by finishing an episode or chapter and discussing it together at length. If you’re lacking in shared day-to-day experiences, this can be a good way to keep you tied together. You can even watch in real-time and talk over commercials.
4. Ask for Advice
The most challenging part of long-distance is feeling disconnected or uninvolved in the other person’s life. If you have a conflict, turn to your partner first. Asking your partner for advice will help them get to know the people around you and feel included at the same time.
5. Priorities, People!
Just because your significant other isn’t in the same area code doesn’t mean you have to become a hermit or settle for infrequent contact. You certainly need to maintain the rest of your life but you’re going to have to accept that your distance love needs to be pushed up on your list of priorities. Bailing on Skype plans, not answering texts, or being unavailable are serious recipes for disaster.
6. Never Compare
When couples are so lucky to be in the same room, they can take this for granted. Chances are you may have to put in more effort than the average couple who can coast without communication on the days they are tired. Something like a scheduled phone call will obviously mean more to you than someone who sees their significant other every day. Guess what? That’s normal. Comparing will only give you an unrealistic idea of what your relationship should be like. It can’t be held to the same standards. Appreciate what you have.
7. There Must Be an End in Sight
Long-distance is not sustainable forever. Period. Every time you say goodbye you should know when you’ll see each other next, even if it’s a long ways away. At least you’ve got something to count down to. Cut down on some of your expenses to make frequent visits more obtainable. Get a countdown app and anticipate the finish line together.
Some couples who have done long distance claim it to be an important part of their relationship. Some even say they wouldn’t take back if they could. Down the line, when you’re together every day, you may look back at this as a cherished time. Long-distance does not have to be a nightmare, and it can even bring you closer in the end.
Use this time to cultivate appreciation and learn the truth of the quote:
Distance is just a test to see how far love can travel.