Hands up, who’d like to have better sex? Yeah, that’s what we thought.
You don’t need to go 50 Shades of Grey to spice up your love life. Here are 7 proven ways to make your sex life healthier and straight-up sexier.
1. Talk Time
We’re not talking about pillow talk (great) or a post-coitus review (not so great). We’re talking about a scheduled sex talk. Like, in the kitchen over coffee. Open communication about what’s working, what you’d like to improve on, and how happy you are with your sexual interludes will greatly improve those interludes. Book a time, so you can both prepare and make sure you’re both clear that this is in the interest of better sex (win-win). Then share and listen with an open heart. It’s best for it not to happen in the bedroom but we can’t guarantee it won’t end up there.
2. Eye Contact
Surprisingly, the concept of holding your partner’s gaze during sex is tricky for a lot of lovers. Why? Because it’s so intimate. Isn’t that crazy? If you want to deepen your connection during sex, lock peepers. Not in a staring contest kind of way, more in a ‘moony, I love you so much’ kind of way. It doesn’t have to be from the first second of foreplay all the way to the roll-off, but pick your moments (especially ‘the’ moment). It can be quite profound for some.
3. Enjoy the Journey
Quickies have their time and place but if you want to have a healthier sex life, make sure not every encounter is a sprint to the finish line. Being focused on the destination makes the whole act feel like a chore and who wants to do chores in bed? Explore, take your time, maybe take the whole thing out of the bedroom – be in the moment and experience the pleasure of it all. Forget about getting there and just enjoy the ride.
4. Loving Intention
It’s hard not to focus on the physical aspect of sex but if you want sex to be a deeper connection try having a rendezvous that is more about emotional pleasure. Think about your love for your partner with every touch, every breath and every movement. Be mindful and do everything with intentional love. Make love. Yep, that’s where the term comes from so don’t make sex, make love.
5. Read All About It
Want to be a sexy co-ed again? It’s time to study up on being a better lover. Yes, it is possible to actually learn techniques and positions from good ‘ol fashion books. And, yes, they do publish books like that (and not just 50 Shades of Grey). Try out the classics like the Kama Sutra or get specific with great reads like ‘How to find her G spot’ or ‘The Ultimate Guide to Fellatio’. Just like most things in life – getting better requires education and practice.
6. Let Go.
Sex, especially early on in a relationship, can be filled with uncertainty, awkwardness and self-judgement. Heck, even some long-term lovers suffer from this. Let go of the expectations you place on yourself and your partner. Stop worrying about doing it right and do what feels right. Be a little spontaneous. Try new things. Let go of that self-doubt and have some fun. And then, even it if does get awkward, at least you can laugh about it. Freely
7. Go, Solo
For some reason, women do this less than men. If you want to have better sex, you need to know what feels good for you. The best way to figure that out is to go on a solo expedition (and fairly often). You’ll discover that you have the key to unlocking your pleasure and then you can share that key. Plus, going at it alone often improves sexual confidence – and that translates to super-sexiness in the bedroom. Va-Va-Va-Voom.
While this might seem like a lot of homework, try a few of these tips out and we’ll bet your sex life won’t just be healthier, it’ll be super-fit.